Expectations gone wrong

"Expect the unexpected" and "you get out what you put in" are two phrases you may hear often. They are said with good intentions but have me pondering their deeper meaning this morning. This post will be challenging for some and it is my prayer that if you are challenged, you don't just walk away from it. My prayer is that you seek answers, search for wisdom and find what you've been missing out on.

'You get out what you put in' is commonly used in the sports world, implying work your butt off during practice and during play it will pay off. BUT this phrase used in relationships has a completely different meaning. It implies that we should pour into our relationships ONLY with an expectation of receiving a return that is the same as what we put in. Maybe with hopes of even more. Did you read that?? Put into your marriage, friendships, children only what you expect to get out of them/it. So, if I want a gift from my husband, then I should purchase him a gift. If I carve out time to listen to a friend, then she should do the same in return. If I expect my children to treat me kindly then I should treat them with kindness. But what happens my friends, when we expect these returns, and THEY DON'T HAPPEN! Then what???  Frustration. Anger. Resentment.  ALL because I had an expectation that didn't happen. I did my part and didn't receive the same in return. How many marriages fall apart because of expectations? How many jobs fail because of expectations? How many walk away from God because of expectations?

Do you know that many Christians live their lives this way? It's similar to the golden rule I suppose. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How many times have I said that to my children? BUT they don't understand why when they do unto others as they would like to have done to them, BUT they don't receive!!! It's not about receiving. We simply should do without expecting. That's the true meaning of the golden rule. It's grace and can only be found through our Lord and Savior. 

Think for a moment what Christ has done for us. Our God, gave his one and only son through death on a cross so that by GRACE we would be saved. God gave so that we might receive. He didn't give with an expectation. A great example of how we should live our lives. But I know it's not easy. 

Expectations have been difficult for me my entire life. I'm a planner, and planners plan with an expectation of a specific outcome. When that outcome doesn't occur in the way we expected and spent hours planning for, then we feel like a failure. We are frustrated, angry and resent whatever or whoever interrupted the plan....often ourselves. So how do I get, how do we, as humans, get beyond expectations? Is it possible?  

There is one prayer that comes to mind that can surpass all expectations as the ultimate expectation and only expectation we should expect. Phew, that was mouthful!!  Are you ready for it???

THY WILL BE DONE! 

That's it. Simple truth. There is now 'expect the unexpected'. If God already knows, which his word tells us He does, and I'm a firm believer in the word, then what other expectation should we have than His will to be done. I know, I know, I can hear the thoughts in your head as they are in mine as well. BUT what about all the time I spent doing this, but what about the pain he/she feels, but what about my desires, my plan, my (here it comes) expectation.  What about it?  Does God not know all of those things? Does he not see your every move, your every effort, your every care, your every tear, your every emotion, your every desire from beginning to end? Does he not know best?  So then what other expectation shall one have other than Thy Will Be Done?!

Now, don't hear me wrong. You don't simply walk around life aimlessly saying Thy Will Be Done. He still calls us to work. He still asks us to care for others. He instills desires in us to pursue for the furthering of His kingdom. He answers our prayers and friends PRAY BOLDLY! 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks find; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."  Matthew 7:7-8

So, is your faith deep enough? Do you trust your God? That if in ALL THINGS when we ask, seek and/or knock, that we can then say, "thy will be done".  

I wish I was an artist for I would draw the image in my head.  When I consider the amount of faith it takes to trust God enough with all that we are, all that we have and all that we put into life I see myself standing with my arms raised to Heaven.  I see strings that come from my body and go straight up into the heavens.  My feet are well grounded, with roots that go deep into the soil, passing all regret, doubt, fear, anxiety, resentment, self-pity, uncertainties and every expectation.  Roots of trust, of faith, that only go deeper every time I say with belief, THY WILL BE DONE!

Where is your faith today? How many strings do you have reaching to Heaven? How many roots are deep into His soil? I'm working on adding to mine as I know they have been lacking. And as we continue waiting through this adoption process I will have plenty of practice saying, "Thy will be done."

Are you willing to let go of every expectation and boldly say, THY WILL BE DONE?

*Note: I am not discouraging having a vision or goals. In fact, those are VERY important to set in a marriage and other areas of life. I'm simply challenging that once you have those things set, would you accept that the Lord's will be done with those plans, without allowing your expectations to get in the way. It's like my vision. Constantly be raising your hands to heaven and handing it over to Him.